It’s OK to say No…

How often do you get asked for a favor?  How about someone who wants to borrow money or something else from you?  How about someone who wants to constantly talk about virtually nothing and waste a lot of your time?

I am sure you can think of a number of times that you maybe wished you would have said no.  Well guess what?  It is OK to say No.  We all need to have boundaries.

Wikipedia defines personal boundaries as guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for him- or herself what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how he or she will respond when someone steps outside those limits.

‘Personal boundaries define you as an individual. They are statements of what you will or won’t do, what you like and don’t like…how close someone can get to you’.

Now please don’t get me wrong.  There are many times you will want to help someone or loan something or take some time and genuinely show somebody some compassion.  That’s great.  What I am suggesting in this post is to not allow yourself to get pushed, pulled, taken for granted or whatever outside of your personal boundaries.  If you are starting to feel a little stressed over a relationship or an obligation, it may be time to back off or tell someone to back off.

And that is OK.  It really is.  Give yourself permission to do that.  Draw your line in the sand and don’t cross it.  And don’t let anyone else cross it.  You will be amazed at the freedom you will feel when you do.

You don’t have to feel guilty and you don’t have to feel like you are being selfish.  Some people will not understand.  Some may even accuse you of being selfish.  Let them think what they want.  Just know that in your heart, you set a boundary and you are free.

 

Bullseye

So how did you do this week on achieving your goals?  Did you hit the target or fall way short?

I was able to achieve several goals this week including losing 5 pounds and
growing my business by 6%.   How? – by making a plan and implementing it.

It really is not that complicated.  If you make a plan and decide that you are going to stick with it, then that is what you do.  If you are thinking about what you are going to do if your plan does not work, then you have already failed.  You are mentally planning for failure.  If you fail to plan, then you are planning to fail.  Your plan B should be to make plan A work.

Be sure to make a distinction between goals and plans.  Goals could be – lose weight, grow your business, learn a new language etc.  Plans are the practical steps to achieve your goals.  Sometimes you may modify your plans along the way to achieve your goals, because the old saying is the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.  It is ok to modify, but you also do not want to give up too quickly if you don’t immediately see results.

Put some effort into it and stop making excuses.  Your life is in your hands.  You can choose to be a success or a failure.  It is up to you and no one else.

Aim for the bullseye and believe.

I have always liked what Yoda said – “There is no try.  Do or do not.”

Goals…

So how did you do on your goals this past year?

I achieved some but not all of mine.  One of my main goals this past year was to grow our karate school.  We more than doubled the size of our school in 8 months.  How was this accomplished you may ask?  Simple – we worked on it.

“Nothing of great value in this life comes easily.”  Norman Vincent Peale.

You cannot expect your business to grow, have better relationships, lose weight or achieve any other goal unless you work on it.  These things will not just magically happen for you.  That is not how life works.

I believe with all my heart that our karate school has succeeded in a down economy for 3 reasons.
#1 – Because we serve a Great God and He is blessing what He has called us to do.
#2 – We have implemented what we have learned from a dear friend and mentor Ted Lowrie and a successful entrepreneur Dani Johnson.  You can check out her website at www.danijohnson.com
(I dare you).
#3 – We have worked our butts off to make it happen.

Today I am laying out my business goals and personal goals for 2012.  I have set my sights high!
I challenge you to do the same.
#1 – Set some goals.
#2 – Write down practical steps on how to achieve those goals.
#3 – Implement those practical steps.  In other words – work your butt off!  Do something.  Stop blaming the economy and everyone else for your lack of success.  Your destiny is in your hands.

I am really excited about today – I am even more excited about tomorrow!  How about you?

Happy New Year – Have an Awesome 2012!

Finishing Strong

Well, the holidays are here.  So do we just stop and take a break from pursuing our dreams?  Uh, no.

Take a look at the retailers.  Do they quit because Christmas is here?  Definitely not.  This is usually their biggest time of year.  They start early the day after Christmas with marketing that draws a lot of people in to buy their products.  They need to clear out their inventory of stuff that didn’t sell before Christmas so they offer you incredible deals.  So what can you do to grow your business during this last week?

You probably deserve a well earned rest, but let’s make sure that it is just that, a rest.  Just don’t flat out quit for the rest of the year.  Now maybe some of you have had time off planned for the remainder of the year and this really is your vacation time.  If so, enjoy.  Be refreshed and have a great start in 2012.

But for those of you that think you just won’t be successful during the holidays because it’s just that time of year and people are busy, well think again.  People always want to find a deal and spend their money.  Come up with an idea that you can implement easily and quickly for this next week.  Buy one get one free – Save 20 or 30 or 50%.  Follow up on some leads.  Network with others.  Build relationships.  Whatever it is, go for it!

Have a very Merry Christmas and let’s finish 2011 strong.

Never Give Up!

“Never ever ever give up!”

Probably the most famous quote about not surrendering.

Taken from a speech given on October 29, 1941 to the boys at Harrow School by Winston Churchill.  The full quote is -  ” Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense.  Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

Excellent words for us to live by today.  Stand by your convictions.  Do what is right.  Hold your ground regardless of all the circumstances around you that tell you to surrender and give it up.

So many people give up on their dreams when it gets hard.  Why?  It doesn’t have to be that way.  You need to get that sheer determination in your heart that come hell or high water, you are going to stand your ground.  Find your purpose.  Find your vision.  Decide what you want and why you want it.  Then take those steps necessary to get it.

And then – when you are faced with the challenge of surrender or die,

“Never ever ever give up.”

Elbow Grease

Well alright then.  Don’t you think it is about time to roll up those sleeves and put a little elbow grease into it?  I was listening to Dani Johnson’s Radio Show this morning and got fired up like I always do each week when I tune in.  I always enjoy her messages because she shares from the original success book – the Bible.

Are you or someone that you know waiting for your ship to come in?  Are you looking for another hand out?  Are you simply hoping that someday everything will just somehow work out?  Are you waiting for a relative to die to get named in their will?  Do you have a lottery mentality today?  Real success just doesn’t happen that way.

Proverbs 10:4 says “Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.”   And again in Proverbs 21:5  “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.”

Simple – make some plans and be diligent about implementing them.

Get off your duff and do something!  Quit blaming everything and everyone else for your financial problems.  Regardless of all the details surrounding your particular set of circumstances, you have made choices that have put you where you are today.

The good news is that you can make new choices today!  You don’t have to stay where you are or the way you are.  You can change.  Be teachable.  Increase your abilities.  Improve yourself and your skills.

Put some elbow grease into it!  Do it today!

Dream Killer

Watching an older episode of “Psych” last night with the family, I laughed out loud (as I usually do with Shawn Spencer’s one liners).  Shawn’s long lost treasure hunting Uncle Jack came back into town.  He was hot on the trail for ancient Spanish gold and needed help.  Shawn’s dad was quick to inform his brother that there wasn’t any treasure.  Shawn said half seriously,  “Don’t listen to him Uncle Jack, he is a dream killer.”

Do you have dream killers in your life?  Ever had a so-called friend or family member tell you that you can’t do it?  Or you aren’t going to make it?  How about a bad habit that truly is holding you back?  Eating the wrong foods?   Still smoking?  Too many soap operas?  TV?  Or something else sucking your time?

Let’s address the friend or family issue for a moment.  This is a subject that many people write and talk about.  I have.  The answer is simple.  Make some new friends.  Have you ever had the kind of friend that when they leave the room, it gets brighter?  Ugh.  So don’t spend time with them if they bring you down.  Make friends with people that have similar visions and goals and want to be successful as much or more than you do.  Make friends with those people that have achieved a level of success that you want to achieve.

As far as family goes, you are kind of stuck with them.  However, you can still limit your involvement with them or stay off the topics on which you know you will disagree.  Another way to go is to show by example that you are on the right path to success by actually succeeding.  However you relate to them, don’t let them discourage you.  Don’t give them any place in your brain or heart.  “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  Eleanore Roosevelt.

Bad habits – I know it is hard, but you can do it.  Take whatever steps are necessary to be free.  Have someone hold you accountable.  Do whatever it takes.

Do you have a dream?  Do you have a goal?  Do you have a vision?  Go for it!

Make a decision today – Don’t allow dream killers in your life anymore.

 

Going through the Motions

How many times in your life have you just gone through the motions?  Was it worth it?  Probably not.

It’s easy sometimes to just go through the motions when you are tired, burned out, discouraged, defeated, upset, sad or just plain lazy.  Sometimes your emotions can help you not go through the motions – such as when you are happy or excited, maybe even angry.  Being happy and excited is a good thing, but how do you sustain it?  Anger can sometimes give you a drive to excel.  Then again it can really screw up your day if you lash out at others irrationally.

So how do we live life not going through the motions?  I have decided that one of the key factors that determine living a life of not going through the motions is our attitude.  When our attitude stinks, our life usually does too.  Then we tend to just go through the motions and suck everyone down along with us.  I don’t like to be around people who are like that.  Please forgive me if I have done it to you.

If our attitude is positive and we have decided to succeed no matter what comes our way, then it is much easier to do everything with a whole heart and not just go through the motions.  I am not talking about being fake and living mentally where everything is oreo cookies and sunshine or Willy Wonka’s candy land.  I am talking about determining to succeed and excel in all that you do regardless of the discouraging circumstances around you.  If you are a Christian, the bible tells us to “be not weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap if we faint not” Galatians 6:9.  We can’t give up.  The harvest will come.  Hang on!

Strive for excellence.  Don’t do anything half-heartedly.  Don’t just go through the motions anymore.  Put your whole heart into all that you do, otherwise it is not worth it.  Be the best that you can be and don’t settle for anything less.  You’ll be glad you did.

Detours

We traveled out of state recently and on our return we hit bad weather.  I-17 was closed about 45 miles South of Flagstaff.  There was a lot of snow and ice as you headed North so the Highway Patrol shut it down.  We had 3 options (remember, there are always options) – left, right or turn around.  We chose left.

Instead of a double lane 75 mph freeway we soon found ourselves on a 25 mph snow and ice covered windy mountainous road.

We had a long way home and we wanted to make good time, so was the detour inconvenient?  Yes, but it was worth it.  Because we discovered some of the most beautiful country I have ever seen.  It definitely rivals our Colorado Rockies.

In life and business, there will always be detours.  We can complain about them all day long if we want to.  Will that help?  Not really.  We just may end up more frustrated and also frustrate those around us.  We could waste a lot of time doing that.  When we were detoured, we instantly decided to make the best of it.  It probably was too dangerous on I-17 because it does get pretty nasty on that stretch of road.  The detour we took went up through Sedona.  We were surrounded by trees with beautiful fall colored leaves.  There were enormous rock outcroppings, valleys and scenic views.  It was amazing!

The purpose of looking in a rear view mirror is just to take a quick glance at what is behind you.  Notice I said quick.  It is simply supposed to be a reference point.  If you keep your eyes on what is behind you for too long, you will crash.  Don’t spend a lot of time looking behind you and complaining about what could have been.  Otherwise you may miss something beautiful that lies right in front of you.

I am thankful for that detour, because it may have saved our lives.  We also have found a new place to visit on our next trip.

 

 

There’s always a way…

Have you ever been backed into a corner and felt there was no way out?  Are the pressures around you closing in harder upon you like a submarine sinking into the depths of the ocean?  Are you boxed in on all sides?

Aaaaghghghhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Sometimes it feels good to let out a big scream.  But then, get back in the game and realize that there is always a way out.  There are always options.

A few years ago my wife and I felt there weren’t any options in a situation we were experiencing.  We felt trapped and we could only see one way to go.  Then a wise man shared with us that there are always options.  There is always an alternative.  Sometimes you can’t see it because the pressure can be overwhelming.  It can be hard to look up or look around because your head is hanging so low with discouragement.  That is exactly the opportune moment to decide to look for another way out.

If it is a financial problem – sell something, barter something, take an odd job or a part time job.  Stop spending money you don’t have.  Have a garage sale.  You will discover that you can live without most of the stuff you have anyway.  Maybe bankruptcy is your answer.  If it is a health issue – do what the doctor says, or try alternative medicine or homeopathic remedies.  Maybe you need to change your diet and eat healthy.  Maybe you need to quit being a couch potato and exercise. You have so many options.

America is still the land of opportunity.  You have limitless possibilities before you.  Don’t ever feel that you only have one way out.  Look for that other option.  Find someone who has gone through what you are going through and find out how they came out on the other side.  Look for the answer where you haven’t looked before.

If you are a believer, call upon God.  Ask for His wisdom.

And realize – there’s always a way.